Fiction | Imhotep: Sayings

He comes on the second Friday of virtually every other month, and I get to ask all sort of questions. He gave pithy answers mostly; but then I can’t say for sure. Were the answers pithy or I just can’t remember? I can’t picture his face, the last time I tried to look I saw nothing. Just nothing. But when he speaks I hear.

Each time I wake, I took notes in my mystic notepad sitting right by my bed lamp. As soon as I stepped out of my apartment for the day, I send pictures of my notes to my friends and tell them about the dream. They ignore it most of the time – these days everybody is busy, busy doing something. Or perhaps they think I am making it up, the whole dream thingy.  I have decided to publish some of these notes, it’s all over the place, it might ring some bells, it might make some sense.

On the second Friday in August, I finally mustered the courage to ask for his name.

He said, “Imhotep”.

. . .

On Helping

Me: How do you know who not to help.

Imhotep: The set of people who does not want to be rescued.

On Conduct

Me: Imhotep, anything for the boys?

Imhotep: Let all your conducts be as straight as a plumb line.

On Stoics

Me: The stoics had advised to live ones’ life without expectation, that that is the route to the true life.

Imhotep: Bullshit. Who are you reading?

Me: Epictetus, Seneca

Imhotep: Baloney, see, even the folks who had brainwashed themselves to think so will only figure out that they do have expectations only — and only — when they get disappointed.

On Success

Me: What’s the greatest supplication one could ever make.

Imhotep: This one is easy – may you know the difference between Kleos and Arete, between fame and success.

On Religion

Me: What would you say is the most terrible use of religion?

Imhotep: Religion? When religion is used as a tool to distance oneself from God, as a tool to disobey God.

Me: [Gives a strained look] You keep confusing me.

Imhotep: Some folks are religious in order to be irreligious — so as to be immoral. This, my friend, would have been funny had it not be so tragic.

On Certainty

Me: And what do you think of certainty?

Imhotep: It comes when you don’t need it, when it is too late.

On Act

Me: How should we act?

Imhotep: As though you are been watched — because you are.

On Medications

Me: Are you on any medications?

Imhotep: Yes.

Me: I guess as much; do you mind sharing them?

Imhotep: Sound sleep and (very intense) physical exercise.

On Arguments

Me: How do I win more arguments?

Imhotep: Do you go around having arguments?

Me: Not really, these things come up once in a while. Any tips?

Imhotep: As a matter of priority: show your polemicists how they are right.

Me: That they are right?

Imhotep: No, no, no. Not that they are right, but how.

On Love

Me: What’s your idea of love?

Imhotep: Sacrifice

On Our Problems

Me: Imhotep, what do you think are the main problems we have today as humans, as a people.

Imhotep: Many [Smiles]…You see, people want life without evil; capitalism without debts; Christianity without hell; marriage without (some) chaos; significance without p-values; fire without smoke; Christ without the cross; friends without fight; and finally, heroine without the addiction.

Me: 😮😮

Imhotep: [Clears throat]. And one more thing — People who desire power and money the most gets it. This is the greatest of all human problems.

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2 thoughts on “Fiction | Imhotep: Sayings

  1. Bunmi says:

    I enjoyed reading that!

    It reminds me of some of Paul Coelho’s writings.

    “Anything for the boys” got me, lol. So did On Religion.

    Keep it coming 😎🙏🏾

    Tell Imhotep that I define Arete as excellence/virtue though.

    • Olatomiwa Bifarin says:

      Thank you Bunmi.

      I have heard Paul Coelho’s name A LOT, but I haven’t read him. I think you might have even suggested his book to me.

      … 🙂 I think Imhotep might just be on the same page with you here. He argued, if I got him correctly, that Success should be defined as ‘success’ without the dependency on societal validation. Hence, success versus fame. As such, this intrinsic, or, say stand-alone-success potentially accommodates virtue/excellence. Socrates at the time of his death could be a perfect example.

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