On Coronavirus and Universities
Me: Did you hear?
Imhotep: Hear what?
Me: That they are closing universities; Going online; Coronavirus things.
Imhotep: Urh, a number of departments, as we know it today should have been closed a long time ago, wellllllll before the coronavirus incident.
Me: [looking non-plussed]
Imhotep: Surprised? Are you surprised by my statements? Aren’t you aware that it was the paucity of information that lead to the creation of universities in the first place? No?
On Coronavirus and Probability
Me: And do you think I should play soccer tomorrow?
Imhotep: Hell no!
Me: The risk is currently low in my district
Imhotep: Neglect risk, forget probability. First rule is to avoid ruin and survive (or help other people survive), only then can you (or others) ponder and philosophize about risk and probability.
On my Washer
Me: Imhotep, I realized something strange the other day.
Imhotep: Tell me
Me: … that I am almost as lazy to wash my cloths in the washer as to wash it by hand, like I do back home.
Imhotep: You mean the washer was something of a failed promise
Me: I wouldn’t put it that way, but I might come close.
Imhotep: Well, I thought we had gone over this before?
Me: hmm can’t recall.
Imhotep: Ok… I will continue to repeat myself: the things you folks like the most are the things you don’t have.
On that Package
Me: Imhotep, tell me, what is that thing, that sole thing, just that one thing; that makes a man (either young or old, big or small, plebeian or patrician, Capitalist or Communist, globalist or nationalist, white or black, tall or short, ugly or handsome, Democrat or Republican) very most likely to fall?
Imhotep: His package!
Me: [Smiles heartily]